Liveblogging Jimmy Fallon’s first night

1:17 Damn, should have started this when the show started, but better late than never. So far, he’s got a real bag of baloney on his hands, as my grandmother used to say. At this point, he’s probably almost as hated as Chris Brown –at least Rihanna took him back. Fallon is done at NBC. What was he thinking, getting Robert DeNiro to guest? Of course he can’t handle DeNiro. The first few minutes of that interview were like getting smacked in the face with a herring and farted on at the same time. The rest of it was like just the farting. The Space Train clip had zero laughs. I actually did not notice any parts of it that might have induced laughter, in anyone.

1:20 Here comes JT, let’s see what he’s got. Barry Gibb talk show was money back in the day. Fallon really didn’t need explain the whole goddamn thing, though.

1:22 Too much meta-analysis! Stop talking about your show, Fallon, you are a Limburger face.

1:23 Singing a little bit now we groove ok ok falsetto groove thang.

1:25 JT would be a better host. Jimmy is not very hostlike. He’s acting so uncomfortably, it’s like someone is asking him to pass the beans at the supper table but he has no hands.

1:27 JT is doing everything! Fallon, you stink. For something that has been planned for a while, this doesn’t seem very well-rehearsed.

1:31 He said Santogold not Santigold! Not up on things. Here comes Van, his shows are so goddamn expensive.

1:32 False start lame, the NY Times guy was hating on Van for his show at the theatre at MSG.

1:36 Old David Byrne is way cooler than old Van Morrison, but I dig this performance, it looks like they’re having some fun, and it’s cool that there are a bunch of musicians up there and not just a few guys.

Well that was pretty turdish show. I’ll say it. But I’m sure it’ll get better. I don’t know how “Lick it for Ten” and Space Train were the most praiseworthy fruits that the writers could deliver for the first episode. It seems that that staff could use a nice arsenal of Orpheus Weaponry! I’m waiting for the call.

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