Posted tagged ‘food’

A Yellow Friend

23 Sep 2009

What up, chumps. There’s no question mark because that’s not a question, it’s a greeting. As if I would care to know anything about your miserable lives. Listen. I’m thinking of turning Tin Speaker into a cooking blog, maybe calling it Tin Whisk or Tin Springform Pan or Tin Fondue Pot or something. Ever since I’ve been in Madrid, also known as The City That Indie Music Forgot, I’ve been spending all my time reading foodnetwork.com and cooking, as opposed to reading Brooklyn Vegan and going to concerts. While this is perhaps a more practical use of my time (though slightly less sociable (very slightly less)), it is not without its unfortunate consequences. For instance, although I have finally learned how to cook rice like a motherfucker, I have made no friends (and in fact, several enemies — several powerful enough that I have feared for my life and the safety of my family) in the past few weeks. Also, my Spanish abilities have actually declined, with the notable exception of my spice-related vocabulary (tomillo, estragón, albahaca, &c). There is also the not-insignificant matter of the seven kilograms (metric strong! (no, not you, Emily Haines. Your band’s overrated, and you’re not even that hot.) I have gained in two weeks. This has been a factor in the friend-making department, as I have taken to wearing enormous tee shirts to hide my new girth.

Ha, ha! Had you fooled. The seven kilograms are actually entirely muscle. I’ve been training for my return to the concert-going sphere. The first thing I’m going to do when I land in New York is go to the Market Hotel and sock an N.Y.U. freshman right in the forehead. Whatup, class of 2013! Getting punched in the forehead in front of Todd P and all your new, wack friends is what! Holla! Ouch! Hurt my hand! Shouldn’t have gone for the forehead! Awfully hard, the forehead! Hope I can get someone to help me carry my luggage! No! No one wants to help the violent dude with eighty pounds of bags! Uh oh! Going to have to rely on my wits! And excessive use of the exclamation mark! Call my friends! All of them have company tonight! Cousins from out of town! What a coincidence! $100 cab ride to Grand Central! Overdrew my ATM card! Looks like I’m working Christmas this year! Again!

Also, I was just kidding about not having any friends. I’m great friends with the lady who works at the pastelería near my crib. I say hola to her four times a day — once every time I come in and buy a milhojas.

To touch upon another subject, has anyone heard the new Flaming Lips album? It’s outrageous.

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Evan Osnos discovers China’s definition of “Western food”

23 Feb 2009

Spaghetti.

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