Posted tagged ‘obama’

Liveblogging Jimmy Fallon’s first night

03 Mar 2009

1:17 Damn, should have started this when the show started, but better late than never. So far, he’s got a real bag of baloney on his hands, as my grandmother used to say. At this point, he’s probably almost as hated as Chris Brown –at least Rihanna took him back. Fallon is done at NBC. What was he thinking, getting Robert DeNiro to guest? Of course he can’t handle DeNiro. The first few minutes of that interview were like getting smacked in the face with a herring and farted on at the same time. The rest of it was like just the farting. The Space Train clip had zero laughs. I actually did not notice any parts of it that might have induced laughter, in anyone.

The Surowieckipedia — Formative years

02 Mar 2009

James began what was to become a lifelong love affair with coconut macaroons when he was seven years old, in the cafeteria of his grammar school, the Westinville Monster School. His classmate Little Petey approached him with a proposition: Little Petey would share his coconut macaroons with James in exchange for a portion of James’s Vienna sausages. James was (quite understandably) attached to his Vienna sausages, but also intrigued by the Little Petey’s pastries. Large for his age, James quickly sized up the aptly named Little Petey and acted boldly. He accepted Little Petey’s coconut macaroon offering, but when Little Petey reached for a Vienna sausage, James snatched them back and removed several pink weiners from the can. “Dost thou enjoy the Vienna sausages, scurvied goat? Perhaps thou wouldst enjoy them in thine ears!” He twisted a sausage into each of Little Petey’s ears. “And, if thou didst find those weiners pleasant in thy respective external auditory meatuses, perhaps thy nostrils might enjoy as well the slippery texture and pleasant aroma!” He twisted a sausage into each of Little Petey’s nostrils. “Ha, ha!”

02 Mar 2009

Hey, Belle & Sebastian, everything you’ve ever done is derivative of “Hazey Jane II” by Nick Drake! How does that feel, to get called out like that? Bam! Deal with it! I don’t even feel bad about saying that. Murdoch. Stuart. Stuart Murdoch. Lame.

I’m just hustling hard — No class at Fordham today

02 Mar 2009

“Classes are cancelled on all campuses of the University. The Campuses are closed.”

Steve Coll has a hunch where Osama Bin Laden is hiding

23 Feb 2009

It’s not actually a hunch. I know exactly where Osama Bin Laden is hiding. He’s under my desk. I’ve had him since August, and I was waiting for Pres. Obama to take office, just to give him a little boost to start his presidency.

(Actual post (note: the title is a bit misleading, as Coll is simply guessing) here)