Posted tagged ‘orpheus weaponry’

Advert #1

25 Jun 2009

So I’ve been working on some marketing strategies for the old Web logs. My plan hinges on the viral powers of Craigslist, and has thus far been overwhelmingly unsuccessful. For some reason, the bitter masses who peruse the Talent Gigs section of both the New York City and Hudson Valley craigslist see fit each time to flag for removal my legitimate and sincere advertisements. This is probably because they are just a bunch of no-talent wannabe models/dancers/actors/&c/&c who spend all their time sending in their ten-year-old headshots to NYU film students looking to cast “attractive and quirky twentysomething for a student film shooting this week. No pay, but it’ll be a great experience!” Excuse me for enlivening your sad, empty lives with the gift of my prodigious wit.

I realize this is utterly counter-intuitive, but I’m going to go ahead and post here the adverts that I’ve posted on and had removed from craigslist (side note — Firefox is weak for not recognizing ‘craigslist’ as a word). Perhaps some of my loyal readers will shoulder the mantle of duty and take it upon themselves to bring the wisdom and pith of Hornblower to the masses. Unite, friends. It takes a nation of millions to hold us back.

Liveblogging Jimmy Fallon’s first night

03 Mar 2009

1:17 Damn, should have started this when the show started, but better late than never. So far, he’s got a real bag of baloney on his hands, as my grandmother used to say. At this point, he’s probably almost as hated as Chris Brown –at least Rihanna took him back. Fallon is done at NBC. What was he thinking, getting Robert DeNiro to guest? Of course he can’t handle DeNiro. The first few minutes of that interview were like getting smacked in the face with a herring and farted on at the same time. The rest of it was like just the farting. The Space Train clip had zero laughs. I actually did not notice any parts of it that might have induced laughter, in anyone.